The week before Christmas, as Josh was headed out on a weeklong trip, he came across two postcards with our name on them, in a basket, in our lobby, typically used for the local newspaper and store flyers. I never really check this basket since I can't read anything in there and never imagined a delivery service would leave a notice for us in such a public container. The postcards had a logo from a company called GLS and had package ID numbers and tracking #'s. Being a Fedex family, we felt fairly sure that they were delivery notices for two packages but just to be sure, I took them to one of my new German friends and asked her my typically question while presenting them, "Was is das?" (sounds like "Vas ist das?" asked by Sergeant Schultz from Hogan's Heros). She explained that they were packages that GLS tried to deliver when we weren't home so they were left elsewhere for us to pick up. She said it looked like one was at a bike shop and the other at a cafe. You can imagine my face, sort of like, "come again???" I think what I actually said, with my mouth on the floor, was "what???" I asked if they just took them to the next place the drivers were headed and she said basically, yes. She wasn't familiar with either business and suggested that I google them or put them in my GPS. I assumed they were right around the corner or down the street from our home so I just put them in the GPS and thought I'd walk to get them. Wrong. One was about 6 miles away, near the airport, and the other about 2 miles away, but in the opposite direction, of course. I decided that since I was a bit crunched for time, I would just drive to get them the next day. Off I went the next day to retrieve the packages. First stop, bike shop...Keeping in mind that just about everyone has or needs a bicycle in Germany, I arrived at the bike shop, this, the Wednesday before Christmas. I arrived around 11am to find the shop closed with a note printed from a computer hanging on the door. Though I couldn't read the entire thing, I did understand enough of it to get that they were closed on Wednesdays in December to prepare for the holidays. Seriously? What kind of joke is this??? Shaking my head, I got back in the car, punched the cafe address in my GPS and hoped they weren't closed for who knows what too. I found a parking space on the street just prior to the address of the cafe so I parked there and walked along about 6 shops to the "cafe" that I would describe to be more like a very small convenience store. They had the standard, old, cigarette pack dispenser over head of the counter and a selection of about 20 candy bars, etc in front of the counter. In the back of the store, was a counter where 4 Middle Eastern looking men were smoking hookas (colorful vase-like things with hoses that stick out and one smokes through them). The oldest of the men came up behind the counter and asked in German if he could help me. I asked in German if he spoke English. Neine. I tried to explain in mostly German that I got this postcard (holding it out to him) and asked if he had a package for me. He took it, muttering something about the 16th (the day it was left for us) and started searching like it might have been sitting around there for years...He looked under the counter, behind it, in the back store room of the shop just past his smoking pals, and finally walked out of the store saying "Eine moment" as he went. He then lifted up his garage door, disappeared into the garage, and came out a moment later with a package for me. He asked for my passport, which of course I failed to bring, but finally accepted my German driver's license and European Union ID card. I signed a short form, put the package in my trunk, and went home to prepare for the 6 overnight guests I had arriving that evening. On that Friday, feeling a bit of pressure to pick up all packages prior to Christmas which was on Sunday, I left my visiting family and headed back out to the bike shop. Many Europeans don't own cars so how they do all of this would be far beyond my patience. It was open this time, so I walked in and greeted the shop keeper in German, asking him if he spoke English as well. Neine. OK, one more mostly German explanation of the postcard and inquiry about a package. He too muttered something about the date (the 15th) and went into the back of his shop. He came out, handed me back the postcard and said what I thought was "No, I don't have a package for you." At this point I am wondering where the Candid Cameras are hiding. I asked him if the address on the card was in fact the bike shop that I was standing in and he confirmed that. I must have looked pitiful because after he tried to explain something to me in rapid-fire German, he went over to his computer and typed in what I assume was the tracking number on the postcard. He then turned to me and said something else-I have no idea what, but it didn't sound at all like "Oh, yes, I DO have a package for you in my secret hiding spot!" I told him in German that I was sorry that I didn't understand and asked if he had Google translate. He walked nodded yes, went to Google and typed in whatever he was trying to say. He turned the screen slightly towards me and pointed to the English translation: "The recipient has the package." I nodded my head to the contrary and said "Ich habe dis (not a german word by the way) postkart-Das ist diene addresse-Sie haben eine package." I was quite proud of myself. He was not impressed. He picked up his phone, called someone at GLS and spoke to them. All of the sudden his English got a little better. He took the phone from his ear, placed it against his chest, and said "Your mann (German for husband) has the package." I wasn't about to explain that my "mann" was in Budapest or Basel so I just explained in broken German that my "mann" gave me the card to come and get the package so he did NOT have it. He then said "yes, your mann got package at cafe". WHAT????!!! I held up one finger, said "eine moment" and headed out to the trunk where the package from the "cafe" still was. I brought it in and said "This is a different number," to which he replied in almost perfect English "This driver is always a problem. He is incompetent. He gives two cards on two days, two numbers. I always have this problem with him." Upon closer inspection, I did see that a second tracking number (that corresponds to the postcard notices but perhaps not the packages) had been placed over top of the first one. My guess is that when we weren't home, the driver was going to drop the package at his next stop, the bike shop, but it was probably a Wednesday when they were home "preparing" for the holidays instead of selling bikes. Who knows...anyway, after two days of driving all over town, I had my one package.
This week when checking my mailbox one evening, I found a similar notice from DHL that indicated that I had a package at the "package station" which happened to be right down the street. Hallelujah! I was ready for this one. I couldn't get there the next day, but went the day after that. Fully expecting a manned DHL store (like a FEDEX Office store). I pulled up to find this:
The computer said something, but no package was evident. I tried punching in the tracking # on the key pad. Nothing. Fortunately for me, a young woman came walking by. In German, I said "Excuse me. Do you speak English?" to which she replied in perfectly pleasant English "Yes. I do." I explained that I had received the notice and thought there might be a package for me in this kiosk, but that I couldn't figure out how to get it out. She said she had never used such a kiosk before. I told her that was ok, I just needed her to tell me what the computer screen was saying. She walked up to it, touched the screen (which, admittedly, never occurred to me) and followed the instructions, eventually putting the bar code in the same scanner window. The computer seemed to read the barcode, but evidently said something to the effect of the number and date didn't compute. Here we go again. My new helper handed me back the notice and apologized that she could be of more help. I was starting to have deja vu and I had other things to do so I just put the notice in my handbag and got back in the car. While out running errands, I saw a DHL truck double parked, making a delivery. I pulled up behind him, jumped out and asked him in german if he spoke English (see a trend here??? Thank goodness I start my German intensive next week!). Nope. Again. However, another DHL man popped up behind me and he spoke a little English. I explained that I got the notice two days prior, went to the kiosk and scanned the barcode and the computer said the number and date didn't match. How could that be? He matter-of-factly explained that the packages are only stored there for 24 hours. Do people in Germany not ever go away??? I asked where it was now and he told me to call the "hot line" (14 cents a min) to find out. I got home, called the hotline, and got a very nice woman on the phone who, guess what, spoke NO English. We tried but between the two of us, it was futile. I have put a German friend on the job to call but DHL says they don't have any package with that tracking number.
As I write this today, I know we are missing at least two packages. Whether or not one of them was ever down the street in the giant yellow locker I don't know. Today I was told that I could go to the "Central Logistics center" and see if they had it or if it was already declared "lost and found". If they had it, I should expect to pay a fee to get it. Hello-if it is "lost and found" it's because they lost it and I am trying to find it! Why am I paying to get it when the sender presumably already paid to send it? Seriously, Fedex is going to take over the package world in Germany in no time. These other folks have no idea how to get anything to addressees! It is crazy! (My Fedex delivery man says that it is because the other package delivery services don't pay very well and their employees just don't care. Another local said they are more concerned about money and packages than service and people. Either way, I am thinking leave packages with my neighbors, bring them another day, or leave a number where I can call and set up a delivery time.) How hard can this be???
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